Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Pokemon Go Comes to Death Row

It was bound to happen; Pokemon Go is the hottest app in the nation, and even our condemned prisoners have gone wild for the addictive game. Now a special death row version called Pokemon Row is sending murderers and other felons scampering through the cell blocks as they try to catch whimsical characters such as Shankyu and Jailbird. Several executions were recently delayed when prison officials joined in on the fun, chasing the colorful creatures around the death chamber instead of performing their court-appointed duties, and one killer made this final statement prior to his lethal injection: "I regret shooting those three people during the liquor store robbery...but I REALLY regret not finding Noosemoose this morning, because I know that little bugger was hiding somewhere in my cell!"