Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Broom Bristles at New Execution Ruling

Convicted killer Romell Broom (who shares a name with the cleaning tool used by the Nazis to brush sand off their tanks during the desert campaigns of World War II) received bad news today when the state of Ohio decreed that Broom was once again eligible for execution following a botched attempt in 2009. During that failed episode, prison officials tried for two hours to find a suitable vein to inject the lethal drugs into, but their efforts were...well, in vain.

Rumor had it that Broom ingested an entire box of antihistamines the day before to dehydrate himself and shrink his veins, but one of his attorneys---the unfortunately named Adele Shank---disputed that charge (Several of Shank's clients received harsh punishments for smuggling a shank into prison before the warden realized that these were just standard attorney-client meetings).

Broom is now eligible for a second execution attempt, despite the fact that he was stuck with needles at least 18 times during the last try, causing him to cry and scream. One of the state's prosecutors swore that the execution team wasn't trying to hurt Broom---they were merely trying to kill him.       

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