Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Failure to Execute

It's a busy time in the world of capital punishment. Three people sentenced to death have died over the past three days---yet none of them were executed.

Nebraska cult killer Michael Ryan got the ball rolling on Sunday. Ryan had been sitting on death row for nearly 30 years when he died of natural causes, reportedly related to brain cancer. 

On Monday, Michael Lamont Jones kept the streak alive when he committed suicide in his cell. Jones had been on death row in California since 1991 after killing a pizza shop employee during a robbery. 

The trend continued on Tuesday when Paula Cooper (pictured here), once the youngest inmate on Indiana's death row, took her own life as well. Cooper had been released from prison in 2013 after a successful appeal, but served 27 years on death row prior to that.

Prison authorities have reported sightings of the Grim Reaper lingering in dim hallways, twiddling his thumbs and looking bored.    

Friday, May 15, 2015

From "One Direction" to Lethal Injection

Well, it looks like Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has gone from "that killer in prison who looks like a member of One Direction" to "that killer on death row who looks like a member of One Direction."

Tsarnaev received a well-deserved death penalty conviction today for his part in the Boston Marathon bombing of 2013, which killed three people and injured over 250 more. 

After his eventual execution, the one direction Tsarnaev will be headed is straight down, if you catch my meaning.

At the present time, no members of the band One Direction have been accused of--or found guilty of--any capital crimes.